


Thinking Out Loud

by everlark_5eva



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-17
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-07 22:56:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3186374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everlark_5eva/pseuds/everlark_5eva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Katniss hasn’t had the best luck in relationships. But maybe this time she can do something right. Modern day AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thinking Out Loud

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this story about a year ago. I just thought I would edit it and repost it. 
> 
> Inspired by Ed Sheeran’s ‘Thinking Out Loud’. 
> 
> I’m everlark-5eva on tumblr if you wanted to drop by and say hi. All mistakes are mine. 
> 
> I don’t own any of the recognisable characters from The Hunger Games. (That’s all you Suzanne Collins.)

He was staring again.

 

Those deep blue eyes, pinned on me as I took out my laptop, placing it on the desk. He flicked his blonde waves away when they fell on his face, looking toward his left, watching as I took out my pen and notebook, getting ready for class.

 

 “Hey brainless,” Johanna said, nudging my side with a sharp pencil.

 

“Ow Jo! What’s your problem?” I asked annoyed, rubbing my ribs.

 

“You need to stop eye-fucking blondie over there.”

 

I scowled. “I’m not eye-fu–”

 

“I’m here,” a man said as he walked in, swinging his brown satchel over the desk at the front of the room.  “I’m Professor Abernathy and I’m not late.”

 

“Yeah, just hung over,” someone snickered from the front row.

 

“You’re wrong kid,” he said, swaying on his feet and pointing to the student who had mocked him. “I’m still drunk. But very prepared to teach Intro to Psychology.”

 

“It’s actually Chemistry,” someone shouted from the back room.

 

“Whatever just get your textbook out,” he muttered, turning back to face the white board.

 

Professor Abernathy, the head of the science department, was known as The Walking Hangover. He had never shown up completely drunk to class, but carried a flask in his suit jacket wherever he went. Looking at his wrinkled shirt and trousers, I had expected him to talk hopelessly for two hours, rambling on about laws and theories he had no idea about. However, an hour into the lesson, I was shocked to hear him going over bonding and the periodic table with ease, as if chemistry was his first language. He emphasised particular laws, hinting at upcoming essays and assignments.

 

 “Before your next class I need you to read chapters one to four,” Abernathy finished, packing up his things. “And I need a drink.”

 

I got up, packing my laptop, relieved to be finished for the day. My stomach grumbled and I looked towards Johanna to ask what she was doing next.

 

“Hey Jo, did you want to get some Thai–”

 

“Hey, Peeta!” Jo yelled, calling someone over. I looked over to see who she called and tensed when I realised it had been the blonde, Peeta, who I had stared – acknowledged – earlier.  I looked at Johanna angrily, vowing to kill her when I got the chance.  

 

“What are you doing?” I whispered harshly, as he walked toward us. Jo grinned, eyebrows wiggling up and down in mischief.

 

“Hi,” Peeta said with a warm smile, his eyes crinkling at the edges. I stood mesmerized by his blue eyes, framed by long blonde eyelashes. He glanced at me quickly, causing me look away down at my shoes, face warm at being caught.

 

“Hey Peeta,” Jo smirked, eyes drifting between me and him. “This is Katniss.”

 

“Hey Katniss,” he greeted, pronouncing my name with a hiss. No one had ever said my name like that. I tried smiling back, hoping it wasn’t obvious how nervous I had already become. I could feel my palms begin to sweat and I rubbed them against my pant leg. _Way to go, Katniss. Real Smooth._

 

“I dated Peeta’s older brother freshman year,” Jo offered, unashamedly pleased to see how awkward this conversation had already become. “Rye. Damn that boy could eat some good pus–“

 

“And then she dated my other brother the year after.” Peeta supplied, cutting Johanna off, chuckling quietly.  

 

“Oh,” I replied, unsure of what to say.

 

“And what I can say from my extensive experience with the Mellark men is that they are very well equipped,” Jo said playfully, grinning at me.

 

I looked to Peeta who had turned a dark shade of pink, matching my own warm face. I couldn’t quite meet his eyes. “Well I, uh, better go. My next class is in twenty minutes. Johanna has somewhere to be as well, right?”

 

“Oh, yeah, I have very important business to get to.” Johanna laughed.

 

“Oh, well it was nice meeting you Katniss. Hopefully we’ll see each other again,” Peeta said, eyes bright with a smile.

 

“Don’t worry, Peeta. If I have my way, you guys will be seeing a lot of each other,” Johanna winked, turning her back and exiting the lecture hall.

 

* * *

 

 

“Gale was telling me about Cato. He’s been asking about you,” Madge said, looking around my room as I sat on my bed finishing up an essay.  

“That’s nice.” I replied.

 

“He wanted to know if you’re single.”

 

“That’s great,” I answered, editing my sentence.

 

“You’re not even listening Katniss!”

 

I turned around and looked at her. “I am! I just don’t want to be set up with that jerk. Last time I saw him he kept looking down my shirt.”

 

“Okay, what about Marvel then?”

 

“I don’t need a boyfriend Madge!” I groaned, rolling my eyes.

 

“I never said you needed a boyfriend,” Madge sighed. “You haven’t put yourself out there since Darius and I’m just worried –“

 

“Whoa, wait a minute there,” I paused, eyes lifting from the laptop screen. “This is not about him.”

 

She ignored me. “So what your high school boyfriend cheated on you with some dumb girl? That was three years ago Katniss. And since then all you’ve had are some lousy dates and random hook ups.”

 

“And what’s wrong with that?” I asked. Women didn’t need men to be satisfied with their lives. We were perfectly capable of finding happiness within ourselves and our friendships.

 

“Nothing. But you don’t you think you deserve someone who likes you? Who is devoted to you?”

 

“Not all of us want to find ‘The One’.”

 

“I’m not talking about finding someone to marry! Just ask a guy out or something. Have fun!”

 

“Ask him out?” It was completely okay for a girl to ask a guy out. Nothing wrong with wanting something and going for it. But I wasn’t like Johanna, who once grabbed a guy’s crotch before even talking to him.

 

“One day, you’re going to like someone so much, that you’re going to willingly march right up to them and demand they take you out to dinner.”

 

“Whatever,” I said, popping in my headphones.

 

* * *

 

 

 “Is that loverboy?” Johanna asked, motioning her red cup towards a blonde man at the door.

 

I looked towards the entrance to see Peeta, talking to a group of guys. I scowled at Jo.

 

Ever since our first encounter, he’d started getting lunch with Jo and I after our mutual classes. Other than a quiet ‘hello’ or ‘how are you’, we never really spoke, but I had become well acquainted with the slope of his nose, the line of his jaw and the waves of curly hair I wanted to run my fingers through. Not that I would have ever told Johanna that. I would never hear the end of it.

 

“Don’t look at me like that brainless,” she said. “I’m just helping you out. You need to get laid. And I’m sure Peeta wouldn’t mind helping you with that.”

 

I crossed my arms and scowled. “What is with you and Madge? I don’t need to get laid.”

 

“That just makes it even more obvious how much you need that ‘D’.” I choose to ignore her, sipping on my beer quietly, deciding that ignoring Johanna for the rest of the night was my best bet to avoid punching her in the face.

 

A moment later, I saw Peeta mingling with Finnick. Finnick and I had become friends when he started dating my lab partner, Annie. Madge was quick to note that Finnick was “outrageously good looking” but I had never seen the appeal. Even now, it’s Peeta’s rolled up sleeves of his flannel shirt that distract me, causing me to gulp at the sight of his strong forearms. I looked away, shaking myself out of it. _Hold it together, Everdeen._

 

“Hey Peeta! How’s it going?” I looked around, not at all shocked that Johanna called Peeta over again. As he made his way over to us, Johanna whispered in my ear, “If he’s anything like Rye, you won’t regret a night with him.”

 

“Hey Jo,” Peeta said. “Hey Katniss.”

 

 “How’s the party?” Johanna asked him with a grin.  

 

“Uh, it’s cool. Free beer is always awesome,” Peeta said, lifting his red cup. “Actually Rye is here tonight. He was asking about you.”

 

 “Well, in that case, It’s getting late and I need a ride,” Johanna laughed. “Katniss, you can get off with Peeta, can’t you?” Johanna innocently asked, smirking behind him. I opened my eyes wide in horror, but he chimed in.

 

“Yeah, I don’t mind walking you to your dorm if you wanted to stay longer,” Peeta said, looking at me. I looked at the time. _11:23 wasn’t too late, was it?_

 

“Trust me, she definitely wants to stay longer,” Johanna teased as she left.  

 

I stared daggers at Johanna’s back as she went to find Rye, cursing under my breath.  “I’m really sorry about Jo, she can kinda be… uh…”

 

“Awkward? Inappropriate? Blunt?”

 

“Yeah,” I giggled, swaying back on forth on my feet. _Did I just giggle? I’ve had more to drink that I thought._ “At least she keeps things interested.”

 

“I think you’re far more interesting than Jo,” he replies honestly.

 

“What?”

 

“You don’t talk much, but quality over quantity, right?”

 

“You don’t even know about,” I reply, not intending to sound do harsh.

 

“We can change that,” Peeta says, a defiant look in his eyes. “What’s your favourite colour?”

 

I snort. “Well, now you’ve stepped over the line,” I teased. “It’s green. Like the forest.”

 

“Mine’s orange.”

 

“Like safety vest orange?”

 

“No, no, more like the sunset.”

 

The night went on like that, with questions back and forth, confidence fuelled by cheap beer. We spoke about our families. I told him Prim was graduating this year. He told me that even though Rye had already graduated college, he still acted like he was in high school. When the party started winding down, we looked at one another, hesitant and nervous.

 

“So,” Peeta said.

 

“So,” I replied, slightly unbalanced on my feet.

 

“I guess it’s the end of the night,” he said, hands in his pocket, swaying on his toes and heels.

 

“It doesn’t have to.” Peeta’s eyes opened wide in surprise.

 

“What?”

 

“If you want you can come to my place…”

 

“Uh –”

 

Hearing his tentative reply, my stomach dropped. “You don’t have to. God, I was just asking –”

 

He presses his lips to mine, cutting me off. I still suddenly, caught by surprise. But after a moment, the pull of his warm lips against mine becomes hypnotic and I pull him towards me, itching to get him as close to me as possible.

 

“Katniss,” he breathes, nuzzling his nose into my hair, hands winding around my waist. “I would love to go back to your place.”

 

* * *

 

Tripping through the room, we fell on top of a heap of clothes, giggling as we rolled across the carpeted floor.

 

I dragged Peeta to my bed, pulling him on top of me, kissing him again. This time his lips were dry and I could taste the bitter beer he has been drinking tonight, but neither of those things mattered much.

 

“Your hair smells so good,” he said, lifting my shirt up over my head quickly but gently. 

 

I groaned as he gently kissed his way across my breasts, making his way up to my neck. “Peeta,” I moaned.

 

“You’re so beautiful,” he said, resting his head between my breasts, stopping his journey across my body.  “I like you so much Katniss.”

 

I didn’t have the power to tell him to stop because his weight on top of mine felt oddly reassuring. I wanted him to never leave. But he would eventually, they all do.

 

 “I want to find out whether you like tea or coffee in the morning or which side of the bed you sleep on. I promised myself I would get to know you because I had never felt this way about a girl. You don’t know the effect you have.”

 

I froze. Even in my drunk and aroused state I knew that I couldn’t go down that path. I’d been in this position before; blooming infatuation with hopeful promises. I knew they only ended in one way; heartbreak. He would always find someone better, more beautiful, someone he wanted more than me.

 

I didn’t say anything to him, just undulated my hips against his, making him moan my name.  With a starry look in his eyes, he got up to get a condom from his wallet, allowing me to admire his behind, firm and starkly pale compared to his tanned forearms and calves. I wanted to see him like this; a source of relief to the need between my legs.

 

It wasn’t difficult to see him like that when he slipped inside me. As I moaned his name over and over again, I felt myself unravelling in more ways than one.

  

* * *

 

I sleepily opened my eyes, noting my pounding headache and groaned into the pillow. Sitting up I heard a deep chuckle.

 

“Yeah, guess we both won’t be drinking again, ever,” a voice said.  

 

I rubbed my eyes, pulling my sheets up to my chest. I looked over to see Peeta, blonde waves sticking up in every direction.

 

“Did we sleep together?” I asked him. “I don’t remember much of last night.”

He looked disappointed at first, but quickly grinned. “Want a refresher?” His voice was husky from sleep and I clenched my thighs. He seemed happy, stretching his arms over his head, abs rippling as he yawned and pushed a hand through his hair. I needed to say something before I did something crazy, like kiss him.

“Uh, look Peeta,” I began nervously. “This was a one-time thing. I really need to focus on graduating right now.”

I looked at him, trying to gauge his reaction. He was quiet, his smile slowly fading. He coughed, looking around my room for his clothes. I didn’t mean for him to leave right away, but he cut me off. “Yeah. This was just a hook up.

I didn’t know why I felt my heart plummet into my stomach but I pretended to be relieved.

 

 “Yeah, of course.”

 

As he put his clothes back on, buckling his belt, I told him I was going to the bathroom. I forced myself to look away before I asked him to stay and take me against the tiled wall in the shower.

 

I came out to find the the room empty

 

* * *

 

 **Unknown Number** [2:53]

I hope you don’t mind. I got your number from Johanna. I just wanted to say I was sorry that I left yesterday without saying goodbye. I was just tired and I wanted to get back to my place. Sorry J

 **Katniss Everdeen** [3:06] who is this?????

 **Unknown Number** [3:07] Oh sorry. Yeah, I’m Peeta. From Abernathy’s chemistry?

 **Katniss Everdeen** [3:08] its ok peeta. doesnt matter if u left early.

 **Peeta Mellark** [3:11] Yeah, of course. You’re right. Well, I’ll see you in class then.

  

* * *

  

 “Since I can’t be bothered teaching every single analytical technique, I’m just going to group you kids together, make you research the style and then present to the class. And heck, let’s just throw in the fact that this accounts for fifty per cent of your grade.”

 

Everyone groaned as Abernathy began calling out group names and their analysis study.

 

“Mason you’re with Ableman. Gravimetric analysis of fertilizer. Everdeen you’re with Mellark. Volumetric analysis with a neutralization reaction featuring an acid and a base.”

 

I looked toward my right, catching his blue eyes. He slowly walked the few seats down to sit next to me. We hadn’t spoken about that night and the tension in the air was palpable. I was grateful that Johanna had left to find her partner so no one was here to mock or question us.

“Guess, we’re partners, huh?” he asked nervously, as if I might disagree and throw a fit.

 

“Guess so.”

 

* * *

  

 **Peeta Mellark** [6:57]

Have you chosen the reaction we’re going to research yet?

 **Katniss Everdeen** [7:00]

ummm no???? i thought u were doing that!!!!

 **Peeta Mellark** [7:01]

I thought we decided that you were going to choose the acid and I was going to choose the base!

 **Katniss Everdeen** [7:01]

wat?? was i asleep wen we decided that???

 **Peeta Mellark** [7:02]

We really need to communicate better. We haven’t even started and we have to present next week!

 **Katniss Everdeen** [7:02]

i know!!!! it isnt my fault youve been ignoring me for the past 2 weeks!!!

 **Peeta Mellark** [7:10]

I know. I’m sorry I’ve been a jerk.

 **Peeta Mellark** [7:13]

Just come to my dorm with your laptop. We need to finish this tonight and in person!

 **Katniss Everdeen** [7:14]

f9. txt me ur address.. ill b there in 5 min

  

* * *

 

“Wait, did we just finish?” I asked, almost giddy with relief as I saved the PowerPoint file on my USB.

 

“I – I think we just finished,” Peeta replied, grinning widely. “But it’s like 2 am. If we weren’t finished by now… I don’t even know. I’m brain dead.”

 

I laughed. “I’m so tired that I’m not even tired. I remember learning about sleep cycles or something and I think I missed mine. I won’t be tired for another hour and a half.”

 

 “Do you want something to eat then?” I nodded enthusiastically and followed Peeta out his door.

Who knew spending seven hours locked in a room with someone researching titrations could build such an easy going friendship.

 

We had ignored each other since he left my dorm a few weeks ago and it had caused a small rift in our conversations (regardless of how little they were to begin with). I had liked spending time with Peeta. He was funny, kind and always listened with interest.

 

So what we had slept together and I said it was a hook-up and he left without saying goodbye? It didn’t mean we couldn’t spend time together? We could still be friends, right?

 

Even if I really did want to feel his arms around me, his weight settled on top of –

 

“Did you want a beer?” Peeta asked. I looked up, feeling warm under his questioning gaze.

 

“Sure.”

 

“I have some leftover lasagna,” Peeta offered, passing me a plate. After he heated up a couple of plates, we ate in comfortable silence, broken by an ‘oh my god Peeta this is amazing’ from me and a quiet ‘thank you’ from him.

 

A few beers later we sat next to each other on the sofa, almost close enough that if I slid an inch closer our thighs would touch. We weren’t as drunk as last time, but I was certainly more than a little tipsy.

 

“I should get going,” I said, looking at the time. It was three in the morning and if didn’t make it back soon Madge would call up campus security.

“It’s late. Maybe you can stay here. Finnick’s friend is sleeping on the couch lately, but you can sleep in my bed,” Peeta said. I raised an eyebrow. “I can camp out in Finnick’s room or on the floor. I can sleep anywhere. I won’t be in your hair.”

 

 “I think I might take you up on that. I’ll just text Madge so she doesn’t worry.”

 

 **Katniss Everdeen** [3:07]

staying the night at peeta’s. dnt worry about me xxxx

 

Peeta led to me to his room, whispering quietly that he was going to change.  When he left, I looked around. His room was clean; books on his table, floor vacuumed and bed made neatly. The bed wasn’t a single like mine was. Peeta’s was relatively large for one person, edging towards a queen size.

 

“Hey, so I’ll just be in Finnick’s room,” Peeta informed, poking his head through the door. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and I was momentarily distracted by the path of dark blonde hairs trailing down from his belly button into his shorts. I didn’t remember that from last time.

 

“Uh, um, you can stay in here. The bed is big enough for the both of us.”  I was shocked. _Why did I say that?_

He looked shocked. “Oh, uh, if that’s okay with you.” I nodded as he made his way to the bed, pulling the sheets on the far right side. “Did you, ah, need any clothes to sleep in?”

 

I looked down at my button down shirt and jeans. I usually wore sleep shorts and a tank top to sleep, sans bra. I nodded.

 

He went to his dresser and picked out a large white shirt and black shorts. “These were mine freshman year before I started wrestling. They should fit you.” I looked at his abs, broad chest and large arms. They definitely wouldn’t fit him now.

 

“Where can I change?”

 

“Oh, just in here. I’ll step out.”

 

When he left, I took off my jeans, shirt and bra, placing them on top of the bed. I put on the clothes he gave me, tightening the strings on his shorts so they wouldn’t fall down. They smelt nice, and I almost winced at the thought of having to return them.

 

“You can come back in now.” He quietly stepped in, looking at my pile of clothes, my pink lacy bra on top. I hadn’t had time to do laundry so I was down to the girly underwear Madge had made me buy. Blushing brightly, I quickly picked up my clothes and stuffed them under his bed.

 

After we were both settled in, sheets coming up to our necks,  Peeta turned off his bed side lamp. We were both facing away from each other, expecting the room to be flooded with darkness immediately, but instead the room was bathed in moonlight.

 

“The moon is really bright,” I said, trying to find something that wasn’t as odd as just sleeping with your one night stand in his bed with his clothes on.

 

“Reminds me of your eyes.” I felt him tense, as if he realised what he had said. I turned to face him. I hadn’t expected his blue eyes to shine so brightly at night.

 

“Your eyes remind of the sky on a warm day.” If I wasn’t so captivated by him I would have been shocked at my sudden linguistic ability and mortified at my complete lack of apprehension at confessing something like that.

My admission had awoken something inside of us, causing us to move closer, our faces almost touching. We both tilted our faces and kissed almost hesitantly. This time his lips were soft, and his breath was minty. I swiped my tongue across his teeth, already eager for more.

 

It was almost as if quick and passionate was our tempo. In less than a minute our clothes were off and Peeta was spreading my legs, tracing my lips with his fingers.

 

“You’re so wet,” Peeta said, entranced. If I had to admit, I had been thinking about this ever since I walked into his dorm, imagining him taking me against the kitchen counter.  

 

“Now, Peeta, I need you now.” Quickly he reached over his nightstand to grab a condom. I stopped him, grabbing the prophylactic and rolling it down his shaft myself, giving him a small tug. Last time I hadn’t gotten a moment to look at him. Where he lacked in length, he made up in girth. I almost wished I could taste him, but there was always next time.

 

I moaned as he filled me, taking my hard nipple into his mouth, suctioning his lips around me as I arched my back.

 

The last thing I remember before I shattered were his blue eyes, looking at me as if I was the only person he ever wanted.

 

* * *

 

 

I woke up to the sound of a ping! on my phone.

 

 **Madge Undersee** [7:02]

You spent the night at Peeta’s???? I want details!!!!

 **Johanna Mason** [7:02] Did you get Blonde’s D? I knew you couldn’t resist, brainless. Hope the sex was good enough to get that stick out of your ass :D

 

 **Madge Undersee** [7:03] …oh and I may have told Jo about you spending the night… Sorry xxxx

 

They didn’t know that this was our second time. That this time was even better than last time. But that didn’t mean I had forgotten we had to present today in front of our class. I rolled over and read the time.

 

7:04 was too early. I groaned as I slumped under the covers, looking across the bed to see Peeta’s head under his pillow, facing away from me. I felt a pang in my chest at the thought of leaving him. But I had to get up, or I was going to have to face him when he asked me if I wanted to eat breakfast with him. Because Peeta was just that kind. He would make pancakes, waffles and bacon, anything I wanted. But I couldn’t let that happen.

 

I looked at him again, his pale body covered in freckles. I could imagine mornings kissing those freckles as he woke up. But I could also imagine him leaving me for a curvy blonde who was prettier, smarter and just better.

 

I picked up my clothes and laptop, quietly making my way down to my room.  

 

* * *

 

“A+, huh?” Peeta said, proud of our assignment. I looked at him, almost hurt that he just pretended that last night hadn’t happened. Thought I couldn’t blame him. I was the one who left.

“Yeah, great,” I muttered, packing up my things as I stormed out of Abernathy’s office.

 

* * *

  

They were drunk again.

 

It was almost as if alcohol was the only thing that allowed them to act on their blatant attraction to one another.

 

They crashed against a wall as they kissed, picture frames crashing to the floor around them. They touched and kissed almost furiously, as if their bodies were punishing them for ignoring the passion that was between them.

 

“Katniss,” Peeta breathed. “Can we –”

 

“Yes, Peeta, please,” I replied, lifting up his Henley shirt. I had spent the night sneaking glances at his back in this shirt, muscles tensing whenever he stretched or moved.

 

He entered me as we stood, widening my legs so he could meet my entrance and rub my clit at the same time.

 

“Yes, yes,” I cried as he drove into me, his moans telling me that his release wasn’t too far away either. 

 

* * *

 

 

It became almost predictable. They both knew it was going to happen. And they both knew that they wouldn’t talk about it afterwards.

 

Even though they never spoke about their nights, they both craved one another’s attention. As Peeta became a regular fixture in her friendship circle, they spoke at parties, at lunch and even during class. Peeta had come to terms that she didn’t want more; he had thought he was okay taking as much she would give him.

 

“And then he’s all like, “Yeah, I’m drunk, but not pissed enough to know that your essay deserved a D!”” I laughed as Peeta told Finnick, Madge and Johanna about class that morning.

 

“You should have seen Cato’s face though,” I heaved over laughing, holding on to Peeta’s shoulder for support.

 

 “Aw, you guys make the cutest couple,” Madge said, looking at the both of them. She knew they weren’t dating, just sleeping together, but thought that made them a couple.  Even if Peeta had never actually asked her out on a date. Or ever even offered to eat with her after their nights together.

 

“We’re just friends,” Peeta said looking into my eyes.

 

“Yeah, friends who bone,” Johanna snickered. Before I could say anything Peeta walked away, mumbling about getting a drink.

 

 “Is something bothering Peeta?” Madge asked, confused. I didn’t know what was wrong but I knew I shouldn’t care. I wasn’t his girlfriend. It wasn’t my responsibility to ask him what was wrong. I didn’t need to do that, even if it did bother me when Peeta was upset. 

 

* * *

  

 “Kaaatnisssss,” he sung my name, giggling. “I feel so happy.” He swayed on his feet as the party buzzed around us. After he had stormed off he came back a few hours later, a huge grin on his face and a drink in his hand.

 

I sighed. “That’s because you’re drunk, Peeta.”

 

 “I’m not that drunk,” he breathed into my ear, pulling me closer, planting sloppy kisses across my neck. This was the first time we had ever shown this much affection in public. I tried not to wince as Finnick looked at us closely.

 

“Peeta,” I said, trying to sound stern. I felt desire pool in the pit of my stomach when he bit my bottom lip gently, knowing it would make me weak. I looked at Finnick again and pulled him away, prying his hands away from my face. “You need to get home.”

 

“You’re so pretty Katniss. Did I ever tell you that? You’re so beautiful.”

 

I sighed. “Let’s get you home.”

 

“Where are you taking me?”

 

“Back to your room.”

 

“But that’s soooo far away!” I scowled. He was right.

 

“Where else am I supposed to take you?”

 

“Your room?” he hesitantly asked, eyes hopeful. He spoke almost clearly, making me wonder if he really was drunk.

 

“Fine. But no funny business on the way, okay?” I thought about how his hands all over my body felt, how he could make me tremble in minutes.  

 

“S-scout’s promise,” he stuttered, placing his hand over his stomach instead of his heart. I rolled my eyes.

 

“C’mon, let’s take you home.”

 

* * *

 

His eyelashes were long. So long that when he slept they touched the top of his cheeks, fanning across his pale cheekbones. I was surprised that I hadn’t noticed them before, but then again, I had never really seen him so closely.

 

 “Ahhhhhh,” Peeta yawned, stretching his arms over his head, snuggling his head into my pillow. There was only so much space in a single bed and _I_ wasn’t going to sleep on the floor.

 

 He groaned sleepily, his deep voice muffled by my pillow. He slowly rose, stretching and sitting up. After a moment he breathed a quiet “good morning”. Even with bad breath and alcohol seeping from his pores, he was still insanely sexy.

 

“Here,” I said, reaching over from the night stand to hand him an aspirin and water. He gulped the water down quickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as droplets trailed down his neck. I looked away, pretending to be fascinated with a spot on the wall. He sat the glass down on the bed-side table.

 

“It seems like I’m a regular at the Everdeen residence. I should get my own key by now,” he said, abs flexing as he laughed. Distracted, I didn’t think clearly about what I said next.

 

“Only boyfriends get keys,” I told him, wincing as soon as the words left my mouth. I looked at anywhere but him, but I could hear him chuckle awkwardly.

 

“Right. And I’m just flavour of the week.”

 

“I didn’t mean –”

 

“Finnick’s party was crazy last night. How much did I drink?”

 

I looked at him, trying to sense if he was upset at my comment or not. “More than usual.”

 

“Why am I naked?” he asked suspiciously, sheets slipping away, baring his chest. “I know we didn’t fuck.” I could see the blond hairs that were scattered across his chest, remembering how I loved dragging my nails through them as he slipped in and out –

 

I looked away from his taught stomach, trying to regain some composure. “Your clothes smelt like weed and alcohol. I had to take them off.”

 

“Why did you bring me to your dorm?”

 

“Are we playing twenty questions or something?” I asked brashly. “You were drunk and I couldn’t be bothered carrying you back to your dorm.”

 

“That was nice of you.” It was nice of me. I wasn’t usually this caring. Guess Peeta was rubbing off on me.

 

 “You need to go,” I said looking over at the clock reading 8:47. “I have class in 15 minutes.”

 

“You have class on a Saturday morning?”

 

“Yes,” I lied, eager for him to leave. I didn’t want to keep seeing him, his shirtless form mocking me. A small part of me wanted him to stay, to have breakfast and watch morning cartoons with me like Prim used to. But I knew that would never last.

 

A flash of hurt crossed his face, but he quickly disguised it, getting up from bed, rummaging for his shirt. “Got it, I’ll get out.”

 

I didn’t expect to feel so guilty. Sure, we had slept several times before, but that didn’t mean he was my boyfriend. I wasn’t responsible for him. I had just taken care of him last night so he wasn’t lying alone in some party, choking on vomit. It was just the right thing to do.

 

_But why did I feel like I hurt him?_

 

The sound of the door slamming as Peeta left silently had become too familiar.

  

* * *

 

 

After that morning I saw him everywhere. I saw him getting a cup of coffee. I saw him at the book store. I even saw him at the gym, tight white shirt wet with sweat as he spoke with a blonde girl.

But everywhere I saw him he looked at me with those incredibly blue eyes and looked away quickly, as if I wasn’t supposed to notice him at all.

 

* * *

 

I needed to get laid and I didn’t need Johanna to tell me that.

 

It was difficult enough hearing Madge gush about Gale and his hands and his tongue. Frankly, it was getting disgusting. It was even more difficult to see Peeta every day.

 

Freshman year Madge had convinced me to rush for a sorority but I never made it past the initiation. Regardless, I still showed up to their parties for the cheap beer and a possible hook up since Peeta had been avoiding me like the plague.

 

“Hey man, can you pour me one?” I heard someone, immediately recognising his voice.  I didn’t dare turn around, but kept a mental note to track his voice wherever he went.

 

I surprised myself when I realised I’d been staring at his blonde waves for the better half of an hour. Sighing, I wondered when it became like this. I certainly wasn’t this attached our first morning after.

 

“Hey Katniss,” he smiled weakly when he realised he couldn’t keep ignoring me. His steps were usually loud but this time I couldn’t hear him because I’d been distracted by his presence across the room.

 

“Hey Peeta,” I mumbled, not looking directly into his eyes.

 

“So how’s it going?”

 

I didn’t tell him that I’d missed him in my bed. Didn’t tell him that I missed running my hands through his hair when he was going down on me. Didn’t tell him that I missed his laugh when he told a corny joke.

 

Instead I said, “It’s been okay. Just busy with assignments.”

 

“And all those extra classes?”

 

“What?”

 

“You said you had an extra class, on Saturday?”

 

I remembered my excuse and blushed. “Oh yeah.”

 

We stood next to each other, chatting quietly about the weather. I couldn’t stop noticing his lips. His top lip had always been much thinner than his plump bottom lip, but the dip of his cupid’s bow was so enticing I nearly missed his goodbye.

 

“So, I should get going,” he said, shoving his hands into his pockets.

 

“Yeah, of course,” I replied, dread settling in at the thought of another night without him in bed. “Or we could hang out back at your place. Or mine.”

 

He paused, looking at her. “Look Katniss, I can’t keep doing this.”

 

“What?” I asked startled. He seemed to be thinking about what he wanted to say next.

 

“I can’t just hook up with you and have you throw me out of your apartment.”

 

“I didn’t throw you out –”

 

“Yeah you did.”

 

I looked guiltily at the floor. “You just really looked cute while you were sleeping.” I clamped my mouth closed after that. _Where did that come from?_

 

“What?”

 

“You have these eyelashes – and that chest, but it’s your voice as well…” I rambled on trying to make sense of what I was trying to tell him. “You looked really cute in the morning. I had to stop myself from kissing you.” I thought I had done an ‘ok’ job explaining what had gone through my mind that morning but he just looked disappointed. _Why was I feeling like this?_

 

“I’m not just a piece of ass, Katniss. I can’t be just your hook-up anymore.”

 

He left me standing there, wondering when I had begun to really fall for Peeta Mellark.

  

* * *

 

 

“Hey Little Duck,” I said, rubbing my eyes. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Can’t I call my big sister at seven in the morning?”

 

“No. I’m only your ‘big sister’ from noon to nine.”

 

They caught up quietly, Prim telling her that she had an hour to spare before class. They exchanged small talk for a few minutes, but Katniss knew there was something else Prim wanted to say.

 

“Get to the point,” I laughed when Prim began to talk about how buttercup had eaten the entire bird in one bite. Prim sighed and after a moment spoke up again.

 

“I saw Darius yesterday. With his new fiancé.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“He seemed really happy Katniss.”

 

“Is this why you called?” I asked angrily. I didn’t need to be reminded why I wasn’t good enough.

 

“Katniss listen. Don’t pretend I don’t know you. I know you like to use Darius as an excuse –”

 

I sat up in bed. “Wait, what?”

 

“Just listen Katniss,” she said sternly. “You’re just scared to get out there again. Darius cheated on you and he’s a douche bag. But you aren’t. You deserve someone who cares about you. Someone who wants to be with you and only you.”

 

I thought about Peeta and his warm smile. _Wait, why was I thinking about him? Did I like him?_

 

No it was only physical.

 

But the more I got thinking, the more I realised that as much as I loved what Peeta could do with his body, I loved that he helped people with their assignments, that he never had a mean thing to say and that he made her feel warm and tingly, even when we weren’t naked.

 

 _Oh shit._ I really did like-like Peeta. It would explain the flips my stomach did every time I saw him.

 

“What if there was someone. But I kinda messed it up?” I asked after a moment, scared that Peeta wouldn’t want me anymore.

 

“WHAT? WHO IS HE?”

 

“Just a guy.”

 

“Well not just any guy if he’s the reason you actually want to be in a relationship!” Prim shrieked through the phone.

 

“I think I just lost all hearing from my right ear.”

 

“Sorry, I’m just really happy for you! So are you going to ask him out?”

 

“Wait, what part of ‘I messed it up’ did you not understand?”

 

“Even if you did mess things up a bit, you can always apologise,” Prim said. “And if he doesn’t accept it or doesn’t want to talk to you, well then it’s his loss. He doesn’t deserve you anyway.”

 

“What am I going to do Primmy?” I asked, regretting that I hadn’t acknowledged my feelings earlier.

 

“Have you heard Ed Sheeran’s new album?”

 

“What?” I asked confused.

 

“I’ve got an idea.”

  

* * *

 

 

I couldn’t believe that Prim had talked me into this. Holding a guitar, I walked across the grass, ignoring the Don’t Walk on the Grass! sign, sweating in the cool air. I felt like I was going to throw up.

 

Then I saw him, chewing on his sandwich in the middle of the grass, books opened around him. Maybe I could come back, do this another time.

 

No, I had to do this now. I needed to believe in myself. Prim had suggested I do this, to really show him that I wanted to patch things up between them.

 

I took a deep breath and walked closer to him. When I was directly in front of him, he looked around, and shot back when he saw me there.

 

“Katniss? What are you doing here?” Peeta eyed my guitar, quirking an eyebrow.

 

“Uh, well… Um, I guess I’ll just,” I stammered. I looked into his eyes, nervous, only to find warmth. He smiled softly, still confused as to what I was doing.

 

Looking at him, I began strumming, singing softly.

 

_Take me into you loving arms_

_Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars_

_Place your head on my beating heart_

_I’m thinking out loud_

 

I was grateful that there weren’t many people around. I looked at Peeta, whose eyes had glassed over.

 

“I’m not very good at saying things, and I’m just thinking out loud here, but I really like you Peeta. I think I always have. I know I messed things up between us, but would have dinner with me sometime? Like, a date?”

 

He looked stunned. I felt the blood drain from my face. _He didn’t want me_. I walked away slowly, tears brimming my eyes.

 

But he stepped closer, held my face in his hands and kissed me, hard.

 

After a moment, he pulled a fraction away from my lips. “I thought I liked you when I saw you walk into Chemistry with that beautiful scowl of yours, but I was wrong. After hearing you sing, I’ve completely fallen for you. I’m a goner Katniss.”

 

I felt relief pour itself into every crevice of my body and smiled against his mouth. “Does this mean you want to have dinner with me tonight?”

 

He chuckled and I felt the vibrations against my lips. “No. It means that I want to have dinner with you _every night_ for as long as you’ll have me.”

 

 

 


End file.
